"Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman" by Anne Ortlund

I bought the book "Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman" a few weeks ago and read it through in a couple of days. Written from a Christian perspective, it offers encouragement and practical ideas to help women plan their time and activities to be most effective in their work for God.

This book is easy to read and the author has a friendly and humble style of writing. It's not a to-do list that details one way for every Christian woman to live, but includes stories from the author's life that show what has and hasn't worked for her in regards to time-management, keeping up with different roles and responsibilities, maintaining a positive and hard-working attitude, organising Bible study notes, influencing and encouraging other women for Christ, and even taking care of our appearance.

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My favourite part of the book has to be the author's passion for being a good witness, remaining accountable to other Christians in her own walk, and looking for opportunities to share the Gospel with unbelievers. Here is a quote where the author is describing what our life will hopefully become once we have been saved:

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"Let's presume (and I pray it's really true) that all of us now, I writing and you reading, are safely one the bank. Here's where "cream-puff religion" - no strain, no pain - has deceived many, leading new Christians to believe that once they're out of the canoe onto land, they're in heaven! So a few months later when they still have problems, they're disillusioned.

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Actually this is the time when we brush ourselves off, set our eyes on that distant City, and start walking. Cross country, woman. Realise what you were saved from, and know that that place is so fabulous it's worth hiking over over hills, through thorns, through rivers up to our lipstick, over cliffs - anything to get there."

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Over the last few weeks I have read this book from start to finish again and also opened it up to read just a chapter or two when I had a few minutes to spare. Every time I read some of it I come away feeling inspired and encouraged.
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I'm not sure if this book has been re-printed recently as not all online bookstores sell it but you can find it at Amazon, The Book Depository and Booktopia.

We are reading .....

The Christmas Story, by Jane Werner

With Christmas just a couple of weeks away we have been reading "The Christmas Story" almost every day. This book is written in simple language and tells the story of how Mary and Joseph travelled to Bethlehem where Mary gave birth to the baby Jesus in a manger. I hope that reading this book together will become one of our family traditions that we do at this time every year.

"Hello, Cupcake!" by Karen Tack and Alan Richardson

"Hello, Cupcake!" is one of my favourite cake recipe books. It has so many original ideas for cupcake decorations, with easy to understand instructions. Each recipe has a full-page photo (I love to see how the recipe is supposed to turn out) and there are some extra photos showing you how to do different steps in the method. At the back of the book there are recipes for different flavoured cupcakes and frostings and tips on how to create different effects.

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There are six sections in the book showing cakes for birthdays, animals, Thanksgiving, Christmas and other special occasions. If you're looking for some really fun and creative ways to decorate cupcakes then I think you will love this book.

Birth Skills, by Juju Sundin

When I first became pregnant my younger sister, who had given birth to a baby 8 months before, told me to buy the book "Birth Skills" by Juju Sundin. I was very skeptical and thought it would be a lot of visualisation or weird things that I'm not into. As my pregnancy progressed she kept telling me about this book until one day when I was about 7 months along she came up to visit and brought the book with her. I read the whole book just a couple of weeks before I went into labour and I am so glad that I did.

I honestly believe that without the knowledge and skills I learned from the book I would have panicked and asked for an epidural (something I really didn't want). Anyway, enough raving. I will try as best as I can to outline the main principles from the book.

At the beginning of the book the author says these things:

"Labour pain is healthy pain. As labour progresses and the pain really established its presence, there will be no time to make decisions about how you will handle each contraction..." "... it is essential that you understand that labour pain is healthy pain. It is caused by the uterine muscle actually working." pg. 7

All the skills that she teaches in the book are based around this principle:

"If you bombard your nervous system with non-painful thoughts and physical and emotional actions, you can dull your pain further through distraction and redirected focus of attention".

Basically what that means is that if, when you are in pain, you can take your mind off the pain or distract yourself in some way, you won't focus on the pain as much and it won't feel so bad. Also, if you are focusing on the pain, you tend to panic and freeze up. If you have something else to focus on then you feel more in control.

When we are in labour adrenalin is pumping through our body like crazy.

"Adrenalin thinks in terms of stress and action. If action is not taken when adrenalin pumps into your system - even if the trigger is healthy pain - it will continue to rise and rise within your body, increasing your stress." pg. 26 "If you can mobilise yourself with a pain-free rhythmic activity and focus on that, believe me, fear and panic will take a back-seat." pg. 26

So... what can you do to take your mind off the pain? When labour first begins it is important to try and rest - you don't want to wear yourself out too early. If the pain is off and on and not too bad, try to sit down, relax, breath slowly (really hard when you are so incredibly excited about meeting your wonderful new baby). Once the pain is more intense, try any or all of these strategies.

1. Focus on the legs not the pain.

* Pace the floor in a slow rhythmic fashion.

* Walk on the spot and focus on the movement, or your feet on the floor. (When we got to the hospital I put on my nightgown and my sneakers and I jogged on the spot for about 5 hours. This was the biggest thing that helped me manage the contractions and before that day I wasn't even fit enough to run around the block :))

* Lie on your side on the bed and slide your foot along the calf of your other leg.

* Sit on a fit ball with your feet wide apart and bounce softly (My hospital had a fit ball and I was hoping to be able to use it but it didn't feel comfortable to me at the time).

2. Breathing and vocalisation

"Simple: pain makes you hold your breath! If you hold your breath in the first stage of labour you make the pain worse". pg. 49

* Each time you breath out whisper 'yes' or 'open' or any word that helps.

* Make an aah sound, not as in a screaming AAAGH but as in "Aaah that baby is so cute". Focus on the rhythmic aaah sound as it comes out. Get louder as the pain increases.

* Ask your husband to make the aaah sound and focus on the sound he is making. Let me say that when I was reading all these skills I thought I would be too embarrassed to do them, or the midwives would think I was crazy. But in the moment I wasn't embarrassed and the midwives have seen it all before anyway.

3. Visualisation

"Visualisation is quite simply the creative faculty or process of forming visual images or ideas, realities, imaginings, scenes, memories, future events, objects etc. in your mind". pg. 82

* Imagine a beautiful relaxing scene like a beach or a waterfall.

* Play soft relaxing music (if the hospital allows it) and imagine things that go with the music. (I used an ipod to play my favourite praise and worship songs and I focused on the words in the songs).

* Count up and down. Ask your husband to count and picture each number in your head as he says it. This can also be helpful in counting out each contraction. As I felt a contraction coming I would say "Count" and my husband would start counting. I would focus on what he was saying until the contraction passed.

* Imagine you are riding a wave, going higher and higher, then down. The day before I went into labour my husband drove me down to the beach and we drove past some big fishing boats pulling into a dock. He said "when you go into labour just picture those big powerful fishing boats pushing through the waves". I thought he was crazy, but when I was in labour, I kept picturing those powerful fishing boats and I think they got me through a good 2 hours of contractions :)

4. Stress balls.

Get a couple of those little soft squishy stress balls if you can and use them in different ways.

* Squeeze the balls in your hands and focus on your hand movements.

* Play music and tap the balls to the beat.

* Bang the balls in time with the contraction - slowly at first then faster as it intensifies, then slowly again.

5. Keywords

* Repeat a word over and over (any word).

* Repeat a phrase over and over - "healthy pain" or "pain out" or "baby's coming".

* Look at what you see and say those things - "tiles, bed, tap, sink, floor".

* Give some keywords to your husband to say for encouragement - "keep breathing", "focus on my voice", "keep stepping", "release".

The book also has techniques to help with the pushing stage.

My Final Tips

1. Pray. Pray before you go into labour and during labour. Ask God to give you strength and peace.

2. Take some comforting verses from the Bible in with you to read or memorise a couple of verses to say over and over in your head.

3. When you get to the hospital inform the doctor or midwives of your desire for a natural birth. Ask them not to offer pain medication unless you ask for it or unless it is medically necessary.

4. If you are induced and the pain starts quickly, start using the strategies straight away if you need to. If you find one or more birth skill isn't working for you try something else. (I told my husband about the skills and he reminded me of different things to try when he could see that something wasn't helping).

5. If you have tried everything to help with the pain, do not feel like a failure if you need medication. Every labour and birth is different, no one should judge your way of doing things.

6. Nothing comes before the safety of the baby and the mother so listen to the advice of the midwives and doctors. The end goal is to have your beautiful baby healthy and safe in your arms. It doesn't matter so much how they get there.

7. If you still have a few days left before you go into labour, try and sit forward with your legs apart as much as possible on a lounge or on a fit ball (as opposed to lying down or putting your feet up). This will encourage the baby to be facing the right way when it comes out which makes labour easier.

Book Review: Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham

I first read this book when my husband and I found out that we are expecting our first child. It impacted me so greatly that I have since lead a Bible study discussion on it and given a talk about it. The principle idea behind the book is the author's vision to "motivate, correct, encourage and equip families to do what God commands concerning the next generation". pg. 7 And what God commands can be found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

Voddie Baucham begins the book by siting various research studies which highlight the increasing number of teens and young adults who are leaving the faith after attending church throughout their childhood and growing up in Christian homes. The author believes that this crisis is not due to the lack of effectiveness of church programs, but rather the failure of parents to assume the responsibility to teach and train their children to love and serve God.

Further research shows that parents focus too much time and attention on their children's education, sporting accomplishments and hobbies, rather than on teaching them a biblical worldview and encouraging their relationship with Christ.

Thankfully, this book provides numerous ways for parents to change their attitudes and actions, to focus more on encouraging their children to live Christ-centred lives. Some suggestions the author makes are:

- Accept your responsibility as parents to teach, train and pray for your children.

- Model your faith. Let your children see you praying, reading the Bible and trusting God in your everyday life.

- Accept that your children belong to God, not you. We should not plan our children's future based on our own selfish motives, but on God's purpose for them.

- Acknowledge God as a family as often as you can. At meal times, in times of crisis, during small events throughout the day, on special occasions, give thanks and praise to God.

- Read the Bible daily together as a family.

- Study what the Bible says on raising children and leading a family.

- Talk about your own faith with your children.

- Play spiritual music in your home.

- Display scriptures around the home and encourage your children to memorise them.

- Keep family worship regular, simple, mandatory and participatory. Help children to enjoy worship by including them in the activities and choosing songs and passages they can understand and learn.

I highly recommend this book to all Christians, particularly those who have been blessed with children.